Ever heard of Gary Zukov?
I know it's a silly name and it's not exactly Oprah or Deepak. Though this guy's work is just about as important, if not more so, because it's the foundation of everything.
Lemme esplain. No. There is too much, lemme sum up. 😉
There is you, the you that can see it's reflection in the mirror. The you that talks, listens, cries, laughs, pees, eats, you get the point.
And there is You. The part that is inextricably connected to...well, that I can't clearly define. For some it's God, for others it's the cosmos, the Universe, infinite wisdom. But again, you get it.
The other day I was straying from my daily practice and doing something new and different. I was looking for some guidance on a situation because I didn't know what my next course of action should be, I was too wound up in the mess of it all to see clearly.
So I got still and asked the capital Y, You, part of me for an answer. The answer I got was to make a phone call. I "felt", if you will, in my gut a positive outcome if I made a call and just asked directly for what I needed.
This was all quite vulnerable for me, but I try to listen to and trust my gut. I picked up the phone and the answer I got on the other end was not positive. It was a no, a very clear and disheartening no.
Do I give up and let go of all that I believe because this didn't work out? I was pissed. Instead of thanking the spirits with gratitude, it was more like, "yeah, thanks for coming, better luck next time."
I know. Terrible. I imagine this tantrum unfolding in a Catholic church with all my ancestors surrounding me, those that devoted their lives to their religion. That's about how icky it felt.
I thought the phone call not working out was where this story ended. But later that day something happened. The Divine wasn't quite done with me yet.
I was driving in my car later and a thought occurred to me. If that place exists where I am inextricably connected to the Divine and it's covered up by muscle, blood, bone, nerves, senses, emotions, moods and so on, doesn't the Divine know that? Whatever, whoever, created me certainly knows what's in my essence, my Soul.
I mean, I was kinda down on myself for not paying the Divine proper respect, but in the car something different came over me. We're in this together! The Divine gets just as much enjoyment and pleasure out of us and our experiences (positive or negative), as we get out of believing that there is something more to our existence.
And if we're in this relationship and always connected, so that nothing, and I mean NOTHING, could ever interfere with that connection well then, what if? What if for as harsh as I was being on myself for my pissy mood, the Divine in me was still shining strong and spirit could see past all my humanness straight into that part, that piece of me?
When It occurred to me that all this shit (the pissy mood, the disrespect to spirit, and the ensuing judgment) was really just illusion and that the love that IS creation, that is everything that surrounds me, was truly the only thing that was real, concrete, and that mattered, everything in that moment eased up. I exhaled all of it, I let it all go. And I knew that despite my faults in this reality, at my essence I was never getting Me wrong.
That night, I was working, minding my own business, and the phone rang. I recognized the area code and had a good idea who it was, the people that I had called that morning and had told me no.
"Hello," I answered trying to be perky.
"Hi, it's Leisha. I heard from Connie that you called this morning and tried to see about getting a ticket refund for this weekend."
"Well, we really want you to come this weekend so...".
I was splitting the ticket with someone and that person could no longer come. I had only bought it the day before so I thought certainly they'll be reasonable and refund me so that I'm not into it for the full amount. On my first call to them, I got a no Strange, given the instinct that I had that all would be well if I just called them.
Well, Leisha ended her sentence by telling me that they would cut the ticket price in half, because they really wanted me there and didn't want the price to hold me back.
I shit you not, this really happened to me.
I believe in miracles. Do you?
In my world, miracles are shifts in perception from fear into love, a la A Course In Miracles. Because you see, once you do that for yourself, eliminate your fear and step into Love, the Divine can reach you. You've cleared the path and that's your work-Clearing The Path At All Costs- and that work is h.a.r.d.
Once I cleared the path, the gift of what I needed, the abundance and love that God had waiting for me, effortlessly found it's way into my life. BOOYAH!
Oh, and I learned something else, a reiteration of a theme that's been pulsing around me for a couple of weeks now, "money should never exclude someone from participation especially when it's work that will help them grow and deepen their experience here."
That's it. I'm off at that event this weekend. I'm sure I'll have more to report on it next week. But you never know sometimes it takes me weeks or months to process. So just nibble on this, until you hear from me again.
Share this with someone that needs or wants a miracle, will ya'?